Cuma Curhat Doang

God,
I feel hurt..
Cos there's a probability that she is with him now..
This is the second time, yeah i know i'm hurting myself, not she hurt me..
God.. so what for, she follow me, what for, she msg me, she want to meet for just a little lunhc?
It's just hurt me..again.. :(
And why she not even worried when I'm sick..
Why she like greening at my status somehow..

It's hurts
and also it's my fault.. again..

I just want to end it once again, God..
how?
or I sud really2 keep in this until sometime?

don't understand, how selfish she is..
or she just thinking that I'm okay with her as friend right now?

yeah its my fault.. to open up this heart once in a while..
and how to deal with it?
she just don't even care if I'm with somebody else
and in fact, i don't have somebody else..!!

God, her happiness is your business, not mine..
but I just confuse how to face this thing?
Yeah, just let it flow Poeh
let her try her want and her will
what her thought that good for her

Holy God, I lose my spirit
to look for a job
to wake up
to make my life
to find someone else

I lose my spirit to serve U
I lose my life
I lose my self

please help me
to face the truth
to get better
to be a person

God, where will it come?
I'm tired and lacking time to wait and wait again
feel like the world is running and left me
what shud I do?
everything seems wrong

God, please change me to be a better man
so I cud be myself
find a job
make a family
serve U better

everything seems impossible right now
though nothing impossible with u, but this is really happen
i'm in depressed

Goooodddddddd... please help me
make it real, make it fast..
I don't wanna stuck in here
but I wanna run.. run fast

God.. please make it possible..

what can I do? what shud I do?

I'm losing my way.. :(

somehow hoping she's getting married soon
so she wud not bother me..
but it'll hurt.. coz she's still being a part of me
and indefenetely I'm a part of her?
just not sure..

:(

take care of her, God
always
coz I love her, more than anything in this world
and maybe becos of that, you take her from me..

forgive me and teach me to be better
to love U better
and to be better yours

thanks God..

Still You

Dear my half soul..
Thanks for today, for the chance to meet u again..

After all this time, after all the things happen,
I know that I still love you
because it's always you
somebody that I always want to feel the happiness, to share good things..
and also someone whom i want to be with, when the life is too s*cks to live in.

and even its a thousand miles away, I cried when I'm missing you
it's true

and even I have friends to share my life, always there is something missing..
it's always you

I don't know how to live this life without you
I've tried twice or more
but it never worked
I just need you and you are a part of my life

i wish your love for me somehow will come back
and let love find the way
and God hear our heart
give us another chance to be together again

just love you, and will be always you
if you somehow must leaving
i just hope that i wud love somebody else like i do for you
and she will love me back

i love you..like i always do..

Fail!!

Friends..
When we are facing the unsuccessful thing in our life, the first thing to do maybe to face the truth that we're fail!

Yes.. I'm fail..!!

My job application isn't success..
And what am I going to do now?
Yes I wud searching for new one, and make some application again..
Until when? Until success.. of course..

Sometimes, I don't want to face the truth, I just pretend that something wrong, that I'm not fail, and I just keep on waiting something happen, and my failure change to successful..
It's seems crazy but it happen right now..

Another thing is..
I fail in my love life..
Yes she's gone.. but sometimes I just run away from the truth and just pretend that someday she'll come back, coz she's making mistakes right now..

O God.. please help me to realise that fail is fail..
And It's okay to fail
As long as we're moving on after the fail, unto the success

God.. please let me tell my self that.. yes, I'm facing the failure right now!!
but that's not the point.. the main point is.. I have to wake up.. and make a move, to make a success someday.

And another important thing is..
I don't have to worry.. don't scare to make a first new step.


I'm facing sooooooooo much failure in the same time, right now..
I have no friend, have no community, have no girlfriend, have no job..
seem that I have no future

But of course I have future, only if I left the failure behind..
and moving forward to the sucessfull future..
always like that..