Forgive Me, Lord

God.. something appear on my mind..
You let her with him, maybe becoz I'm not good enough for You..
I'm sorry
to not hear You
to abandon You
to not doing Your want me to do
second time
alwayz
I didn't pray, didn't read, didn't serve You
didn't hear You..
He is better than me in You, God
yes maybe it's true, i don't know
but I see that..

forgive me Lord
to not being able to be like him
I'm no one compare to him

maybe she will be happier with him

and I?
I have to learn many things, first..
to love You
to love my self
to love anybody else
and than to love my soulmate

I keep on trusting U, God..
to take care my self
to find my way
to find my soulmate
somewhere out there

i believe in You

and I hope You forgive me for the continuous sins that I do

please help me out of this sins

more like You
listen to You
and be better and better each day

Love You, Lord

thanks

God, it's just happen again!

God, why You do this to me?
what shud I believe?
I lost my self
again
I thought that there's a new chance

but I'm just a fool
to hope
just a fool
to dream

and now, it crush and burn again

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

it's the second chance that she break my heart

i'm okay

i feel fine

just go away

and never come back

You're all I ever wanted in a miracle

Could have been so easy
To have lived my life so different
And to follow down the road
Of wandering despair
Then like a wave of sunshine
You appeared just lake a vision
And opened up your heart
And made me live again

You're all I ever wanted in a miracle
You make my life so wonderful
With everything you do
You're all I ever wanted in a miracle
I do
Believe that there's a reason to love

At night as I lay sleeping
I forget that you are near me
And awake to find you lying
So close and so secure
I've never had this feeling
Of such deep profound devotion
It beckons to my soul
And fills my heart with love

You're all I ever wanted in a miracle
You make my life so wonderful
With everything you do
You're all I ever wanted in a miracle
I do
Believe that there's a reason to love

Like a boit of deadly lightning flashing through my mind
I remember the time that I was oh, so alone
So baby, don't go, don't go.

You're all I ever wanted in a miracle - Gordon

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God.. what's the meaning of missing her again?

When I know, I'm not one of the options of her future..

God.. what should I do now?

Just seating here and wait, or I have to fight once again?

I'm so afraid to losing her again..

Is it a chance, or just another way to pain?

Should I not hear of her again?

Should I better go?

Is it love or fool?

:( 

God.. I wish her.. again.. and I know that You're listening

and You will taking hand over us..

Thanks.. :)

Cud I just send a spirit message to her?

*sigh* confuse..

ketulusan vs kebodohan

Tuhan..
apa arti mencintai seseorang dengan sepenuh hati walau disakiti? ketulusan atau kebodohan?
ketika tetap memaafkan walau berulang kali terjadi kesalahan yang sama?
ketika tetap mencintai walau tak ada harapan untuk balik dicintai?
ketika berbuat yang terbaik untuk orang yang dicintai walau tak dihargai?
ketika hanya memikirkan kebahagiaan orang yang dicintai walau dia tak pernah mikirin saya sama sekali?
ketika tetap berharap meski sepertinya harapan itu tidak ada?
ketika tetap menunggu meski entah sampai kapan?

Tuhan.. saya telah pernah mundur, tapi ternyata tidak benar2 mundur..
ketika ada sedikit saja celah, saya ingin kembali masuk kesana..

Tuhan.. saya telah jatuh cinta dan patah hati berulang kali dengan orang yang sama..
apa cinta ini adalah sebuah ketulusan atau kebodohan?

God, cud U give me that chance?
is this love or just addicted?
so, what's love?
i don't understand what is love.. coz this is so damn right that it's love
if it's wrong, than what's love?

God, in a month.. what should I do?
I'm still crying a million tears of missing her..
God, cud I find job there? to get away from her?

forget my dreams?
OmG, I'm in doubt.. about everything, about my life..
sometimes, sadly, means about You too, my Lord
I'm sorry.. I should not..

God, if love is the point, cud You teach me it?
May You take a look at my heart?

yeah.. it's sometimes called as FOOLISH.. but it's so TRUE..

thanks God

God must be kidding me..

God, You know that I dreamt of her in 2 days later..
Sakit hati patah hati
Ketemu dia lagi hari ini
Dan tau kalo dia ga mungkin memilih gua lagi selamanya..
T_T
Feel like dying
Ketika tau itu, dan tau bahwa gua bener masi cinta mati sama dia
T_T

God.. I'm in love with her..
so in love with her
but what can I do
I can do nothing
Do You hear me God?
Do You with me?

What i should do?
I love her, and I just love her with all over my heart
no one else
T_T

I must be crazy
You must be kidding me with all this stuff, God

I'm crying until I fall asleep last night
and today she call me
and we met

and tomorrow

OMG
what am I doing?
do I lost my mind?
do this love?
or I just lost my way?

God..
cud I follow this "heart"?
or I should use my "brain"?

help..
I know it's just a month again, and I want to make it worth
but this is crazy
i'm falling deeper and deeper
God, help help help help help help help help

Forgive me.. I lost my mind..
please come to rescue me, God..
please..

God, You know, it's hurt me.. T_T
too blind to see..
help help help

Goodddddddddd, pleaaasssseeeeeeeee heeeeelllllpppppppppp meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....