Still You

Dear my half soul..
Thanks for today, for the chance to meet u again..

After all this time, after all the things happen,
I know that I still love you
because it's always you
somebody that I always want to feel the happiness, to share good things..
and also someone whom i want to be with, when the life is too s*cks to live in.

and even its a thousand miles away, I cried when I'm missing you
it's true

and even I have friends to share my life, always there is something missing..
it's always you

I don't know how to live this life without you
I've tried twice or more
but it never worked
I just need you and you are a part of my life

i wish your love for me somehow will come back
and let love find the way
and God hear our heart
give us another chance to be together again

just love you, and will be always you
if you somehow must leaving
i just hope that i wud love somebody else like i do for you
and she will love me back

i love you..like i always do..

God must be kidding me..

God, You know that I dreamt of her in 2 days later..
Sakit hati patah hati
Ketemu dia lagi hari ini
Dan tau kalo dia ga mungkin memilih gua lagi selamanya..
T_T
Feel like dying
Ketika tau itu, dan tau bahwa gua bener masi cinta mati sama dia
T_T

God.. I'm in love with her..
so in love with her
but what can I do
I can do nothing
Do You hear me God?
Do You with me?

What i should do?
I love her, and I just love her with all over my heart
no one else
T_T

I must be crazy
You must be kidding me with all this stuff, God

I'm crying until I fall asleep last night
and today she call me
and we met

and tomorrow

OMG
what am I doing?
do I lost my mind?
do this love?
or I just lost my way?

God..
cud I follow this "heart"?
or I should use my "brain"?

help..
I know it's just a month again, and I want to make it worth
but this is crazy
i'm falling deeper and deeper
God, help help help help help help help help

Forgive me.. I lost my mind..
please come to rescue me, God..
please..

God, You know, it's hurt me.. T_T
too blind to see..
help help help

Goodddddddddd, pleaaasssseeeeeeeee heeeeelllllpppppppppp meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

suck!

Jesus, don't you know that my life is suck!
no.. no.. no.. my life is a mercy..
but they just make me hate my life, hate my self, hate You..
they say about responsibility, trust, principle, and love.. to forget and forgive..
they over help, to change, to be right, and they think that they are right!!

God, until when... I have to hold this feeling?
to keep trying to be someone else?
to pretend that I am as they are... to laugh at my condition with them..
to try be a "better" person, and "kill" my self

I wanna die, tonight..
I hate being me..
I hate this condition..
I hate pain that never end..

where are You, my Survivor?
help me, I'm insane, I lose my way..
I need You right now
I'm badly broken

we need Your help, Jesus..
please show the world that You are exis to help us
show us Your way
help us through this
too many people feel the same way

please God, please..
come here and take away us..

thanks

still missing u somehow

hey.. I've already see your page on fb..
and I just wanna say

hoping that u really feeling fine
hoping that u find ur happiness
hoping u getting married soon and happy
hoping u are alright

and hoping that u never crying in remember me, but smile..

o God.. I must be deeper in love with her

but it's okay, it's alright

I'll find my own happiness, really.. and I promise I'll be happy..

Thanks God..
:)

What am I?

I still searching the answer.. for the same questions that appear constantly inside my mind..
What am I?
Can't anybody describe "me"?
Refer to my condition........
What kind of person am I?

I am not A and I am not B
I am an A but I am also a B

This things is make me sick.. I need to find the answer, the truth, the proof, so they wud listen to me..

They say, so what?? Whether who you are, just keep on moving, be maximilize what you have..
But I can't.. seems I can't deal with my self.. :(
Hate what I see on the mirror..

Hate my condition
Hate my self
Hate me
Angry with my creator
Why this is happen to me?
When can I know which way to go?
Or when can I get that chance, to be changed?

Frustated.. :( :( :(

One Last Cry

One Last Cry - Brian Mcknight

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry

Cry......

I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on.....

I'm gonna dry my eyes
Right after I had my
One last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down...
To my last cry...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ARggggHHhhhhhhhh... this broken heart.. huff.. yasudahlah..
Crying is okay, for the last time yah..

Beneran sedih, hari liburannya..
yasudahlah..

Yang penting udah tau kenyataannya, uda liat orangnya..

TIME TO FACE THE TRUTH!

He is better than me, I know..
dan gua bersyukur sama Tuhan, kalau orang itu mau ke gereja bareng dia..
God bless them..

God, thanks uda nunjukin apa yang harus gw tahu.. :)
Dan yang gw bsa lakuin skarang, yah.. percaya saja..
Tuhan pasti tau apa yang gw rasain, dan apa yang gw butuhin..
Percaya saja
Akan ada yang lebih baik di luar sana

Amin

I don't Understand Me :(

Feels empty today..
What am I thinking of?

Feels like I am a fool

God.. help me..
to do what I should do
not to do what I shouldn't do
to feel what I should feel
not to feel what I shouldn't feel

I'm so lost..
Why You give me this heart?
What do You want me to do with this heart?
What do You want me to get through this heart?

Yes, thanks Jesus, that I've learned about..
trust, pain, responsibility, love, and so on..

Yet, I can't through this without You
I need You, coz I don't understand this feeling yet..
I don't understand me, God..

Feels like there's something that I must do
But I can't see the purpose.. I don't know what to do first..
Where wud u bring me?

Just trust You, and I know I'll be alright
and I know that I'm with You

Jesus, I hope You wud come and take over this thing so soon..
or just saying something so the truth will be done..

O my Jesus..
please, look at us and say something, to fix this, to get me out of this..
to give the answer of our pray, of our question
and to have cure of our pain

Thanks..

In my part of broken heart..

Psalm 34:18 --> The Lord is close to those who are of a broken heart and saves such as are crushed with sorrow for sin and are humbly and thoroughly penitent.

Thanks God, for being with me in all my time, although in my broken heart..

Yah, pada akhirnya saya tiba di ujung dari serangkaian patah hati ini..
Mulai dari broken up time, sampai she's taken by another guy..
Complete!
It's about one year and a month..

And if I asked, what do you feel?
I feel.. I don't know, i don't even know what I feel..
Am I broken?
Am I dissapointed?

I don't know.. I just don't understand..
I know nothing about her today.. And sometimes I wish I knew.. But another time, I just too afraid to know..

I just cud keep guessing.. but if this is the very end, I hope I cud know very soon..

And you know, I've just dreamt of you..dream of lossing you..

I'm not that honey in your call.. I cud not be him..
There's no different when I know or not, becoz officially, I have lost you.. that's all..

That's all I have to know, and no other my bussiness!

Yes, and I know that you'll happy through this life because of Him.. He will guide you all the time..
and me too..

In the part of my broken heart, I know, I believe..
He will guide me
He know my heart
He know my need and my want
and for sure
He will give me the best guardiance
until He find me the better one

Thanks God!!

Allah Peduli

Lord, Jesus... thanks for being with me...

Di jalan buntu, Kau janjikan jalan keluar.
Ketika menghadapi masalah sulit, Kau sedang menempa ku untuk maju terus.
Lebih daripada yang lain.
Ketika menghadapi orang yang tidak jujur, Kau ajar ku untuk tidak sabar dan tidak menghakimi.
Ketika menghadapi orang yang sulit, Kau ajar ku untuk berbesar hati.
Ketika menghadapi keadaan yang mustahil, Kau ajar ku untuk berserah.
Ketika aku tak mampu mengendalikan diriku, Kau mengendalikan aku melalui orang2 yang kau utus.
Ketika aku kehilangan, Kau mengajarkan aku untuk memiliki hati yang rela.

Tuhan...Kau yang akan mampukan aku meski aku saat ini tampaknya tak mampu.
Tuhan yang akan menjagaku, menjaga imanku.
Dalam saat sulit dimana aku ingin menyerah pada dunia. Aku ingin lari dari kenyataan, Tuhan menopangku.

Ia sungguh menopangku dan menjadi tempat dimana aku dapat bersandar.

Tuhan... meski terlalu banyak dosaku, aku kau pelihara karena kasihMu.
Meski sering kali aku menyakiti hatimu, Kau tak sekalipun meninggalkan aku sampai tergeletak.

Tuhan, perbaharuilah aku selalu. Semakin hari semakin dekat denganMu. Aku tak dapat jalani ini sendiri.
Aku selalu ingin jalan bersamaMu.
Separah apapun keadaannya Tuhan, aku tahu Tuhan akan selalu ada denganku dan menjadi tonggak yang menegakkan aku sehingga aku dapat terus berjalan.

Tuhan... saat ini sepertinya begitu berat untukku.
Tapi ku tahu pasti diatas segala ini ada rencana Tuhan yang baik untukku.
Ada yang Tuhan ingin persiapkan dalam diriku.
Agar imanku dikuatkan.
Agar aku tahan uji.

Terima kasih untuk hari ini Tuhan.
Untuk lagu yang menguatkan aku.
Untuk setiap orang yang Tuhan pakai hingga menguatkan aku.
Tuhan sertai aku, sertai mereka selalu.
Aku percaya, yang terbaik akan Kau beri pada kami.
Yang terindah hanya ada di dalamMu.

JEsuS... My Savior


http://www.imeem.com/paradox941/music/HV5xvqR7/nikita-allah-peduli/


Allah Peduli - Jonathan Prawira

Banyak perkara yg tak dapat kumengerti
Mengapakah harus terjadi
Di dalam kehidupan ini
Satu perkara
Yang kusimpan dalam hati
Tiada sesuatu kan terjadi
Tanpa Allah peduli

Allah mengerti
Allah peduli
segala persoalan
yang kita hadapi

Takkan pernah dibiarkanNya kubergumul sendiri
sebab Allah mengerti