I need somebody to love

Jesus.. thanks for the new year.. for a great thing ahead.
and for the past.
thanks I can pass the 2010
loneliness and everything there.

Jesus
2011
i want to follow You whatever You want me to be
but if I can ask something, I want somebody, I really need somebody to love.
Somebody to be loved and love me back
I definetely need someone, o my Jesus.. :'(

I'm feeling alone and it getting worse everyday.
I hope I can find someone and can be like another.

Jesus, plis give me a chance to be with somebody
who also love You, and in your way
to make us better everyday

Amen

Thank You Lord

Lord
I'm so thankful for today
So many blessing

but one thing
for celebrating xmas
they don't even remember you
that's so sad

:(

but niwey
I'm so happy
so many frens

and her
:) think i fallen for her

but if can't
You decide Lord
I will follow U

I just hope that U give me somebody who best for me

:)

Thanks for everything Lord

Bless everyone who love me, and whom I love

Thanks
:)

In the Middle of Nowhere

I actually don't know where I am
Its feels like trapped somewhere I don't know
and I can't quit

actually it's not bad at all
still okay
but its just weird
i don't know why people tread me like this
really

so many people in this world
with different wants, needs, habits
just received and accept
and it will getting better

like before, i just hoping for the best but expecting the worst
:)
i'm sad when they treat me like that but it's okay

the thing is, we can't control what other's want to do, right..

it's okay with me
to be abbandon
they didn't even noticed that I'm exist

but somewhere somehow
there's a way

God will make a way
also for my another
for my sin's habbit
and my orientation

Jesus.. He knows what is the best for us, really

:)

I thanks God for her

pray for her
hoping the best

Thanks

Tired

Jesus
I'm so tired
Why this is hapen
I don't know what to do
I just want to be alone for awhile
:(

but maybe this is the better way
but I'm so tired

I need to be alone

I need an accompany

but I also need time for my self, you know

This is make me more sick
:(

Tomorrow is the day

please give me the best way

please guide me what ever will be, will be..

help

:(

I'm Sick

Jesus.. I know I'm so sick
and I hate that I'm telling her that I'm sick
:(
I just don't know why she do that to me!!!
but that's olright

I know everything's gonna be alright
Cos now you're here by my side

:)

Jesus, I know I'm sick
but I thank You for everything

and whatever will be, will be.. :)

I thank You for everything

Thanks :)

the journey begin

261010
the journey begin
and I'm scared
can't stop shaking
but i wanna face it
anything whatever
as long as my God is my guide

leaving all behind
but not my faith

may God bless everyone that love me
and i love

and lets hope that God will help me to do more that my best

God.. help meeeee.. :(

niwey, lets begin!!!!

crying to God..

3 am.. in the morning..
suddenly wake up..
and got cold! :(

and my brain is spinning around..
not understand what happened and what will happen
i just caught in the middle
Jesus, i got stress.. :(

too scare.. too worried..
a lot of things that messed up
i can't see the path..
but yes, once again
i will follow ur sign
i will follow you

and sometimes there is feeling like, is this really what i want
is this what i need?
so crazy
sometimes i want to stop and run away to what i used to be

yes its sound funny
how i crying begging u for this job
and i am also the one who want to run away from this!!

jesus.. please upgrade my faith
so i dont need to worry about simple thing about everything
cos i know that you r watching me
and its okay to do the mistakes, to fail
its okay to looked dumb
its okay to seem foolish

yes its okay

all iz well

jesus, please give me a courage
to pass this step of my life
to be better
to do my best

cos i have talent that u ve gave me
i know
and i should do it the best i can

jesus, take care of my body
take care of my soul
take care of me

and everyone, who love me.. n i love them

thanks.. (:

That's my GOD..!! =)

God.. wanna thank You for all the things happened..
Ruins.. Chaos.. But all the things is beautiful when I see U..
thanks for my angel, who saved my life..
thanks for the laughter and the tears..
thanks for the sun and the rain..
for everyhing! for my family, my friends.. for my boss, my job..
thanks God..
for the appologize..
for receiving me..
for not blaming me..
for show me how U really love me, and actually U r the love.

I'm so scare right away..
but yah, thanks for giving me this chance!
try my best, let me do my best.. for U, for that com, and for me.
for everyone..

sometimes, i wish i cud turn back time..
cud stop the time..
need more rime, haven't ready yet..

but GOD, if U say this is the time, then let it be the time.
i will trust u, i will surrender my life to You

U know my past, my present, my future..
Cos u r my God..

thanks.. =)

I'm not okay, o God..

God, I'm in condition like I can't even pray.. :(
I feel like everything has gone wrong..
And I feel lost..
Feel like I'm even not knowing myself..

It's so hurting me, like I'm nothing
they start to laugh at me, while they don't even know what I am facing
they judge, and they feel like I'm not precious
and I can't be real

and everything that happened between us, it's nothing but a mistake
it's so hurt, Jesus
so hurt till i thought that I better die
forgive me for that thought

Jesus, how to live my life? I just want to know how to run my life wisely?
coz what i need and what i get is far different
and what i think maybe just far false and wrong
Jesus, cud I have normal life?
I mean, am I right?
if U said go on, then I'm going on
if no, please stop me for being dumb of myself

God, I'm not feeling well
i think i'm gonna go crazy
please just come and save me..
i'm really exhausted
i can't handle it myself

i just want to be true about my self
i'm so tired of all this things

about the job, please place me, anywhere that u feel that i cud growing up

and what is the pain in my things?
do i have to get some medical check up?
:(
God, why it can't be just being like that? just happen like that..
:( :(
forgive me, the one who never being thankful for your blessing..

Cuma Curhat Doang

God,
I feel hurt..
Cos there's a probability that she is with him now..
This is the second time, yeah i know i'm hurting myself, not she hurt me..
God.. so what for, she follow me, what for, she msg me, she want to meet for just a little lunhc?
It's just hurt me..again.. :(
And why she not even worried when I'm sick..
Why she like greening at my status somehow..

It's hurts
and also it's my fault.. again..

I just want to end it once again, God..
how?
or I sud really2 keep in this until sometime?

don't understand, how selfish she is..
or she just thinking that I'm okay with her as friend right now?

yeah its my fault.. to open up this heart once in a while..
and how to deal with it?
she just don't even care if I'm with somebody else
and in fact, i don't have somebody else..!!

God, her happiness is your business, not mine..
but I just confuse how to face this thing?
Yeah, just let it flow Poeh
let her try her want and her will
what her thought that good for her

Holy God, I lose my spirit
to look for a job
to wake up
to make my life
to find someone else

I lose my spirit to serve U
I lose my life
I lose my self

please help me
to face the truth
to get better
to be a person

God, where will it come?
I'm tired and lacking time to wait and wait again
feel like the world is running and left me
what shud I do?
everything seems wrong

God, please change me to be a better man
so I cud be myself
find a job
make a family
serve U better

everything seems impossible right now
though nothing impossible with u, but this is really happen
i'm in depressed

Goooodddddddd... please help me
make it real, make it fast..
I don't wanna stuck in here
but I wanna run.. run fast

God.. please make it possible..

what can I do? what shud I do?

I'm losing my way.. :(

somehow hoping she's getting married soon
so she wud not bother me..
but it'll hurt.. coz she's still being a part of me
and indefenetely I'm a part of her?
just not sure..

:(

take care of her, God
always
coz I love her, more than anything in this world
and maybe becos of that, you take her from me..

forgive me and teach me to be better
to love U better
and to be better yours

thanks God..

Still You

Dear my half soul..
Thanks for today, for the chance to meet u again..

After all this time, after all the things happen,
I know that I still love you
because it's always you
somebody that I always want to feel the happiness, to share good things..
and also someone whom i want to be with, when the life is too s*cks to live in.

and even its a thousand miles away, I cried when I'm missing you
it's true

and even I have friends to share my life, always there is something missing..
it's always you

I don't know how to live this life without you
I've tried twice or more
but it never worked
I just need you and you are a part of my life

i wish your love for me somehow will come back
and let love find the way
and God hear our heart
give us another chance to be together again

just love you, and will be always you
if you somehow must leaving
i just hope that i wud love somebody else like i do for you
and she will love me back

i love you..like i always do..

Fail!!

Friends..
When we are facing the unsuccessful thing in our life, the first thing to do maybe to face the truth that we're fail!

Yes.. I'm fail..!!

My job application isn't success..
And what am I going to do now?
Yes I wud searching for new one, and make some application again..
Until when? Until success.. of course..

Sometimes, I don't want to face the truth, I just pretend that something wrong, that I'm not fail, and I just keep on waiting something happen, and my failure change to successful..
It's seems crazy but it happen right now..

Another thing is..
I fail in my love life..
Yes she's gone.. but sometimes I just run away from the truth and just pretend that someday she'll come back, coz she's making mistakes right now..

O God.. please help me to realise that fail is fail..
And It's okay to fail
As long as we're moving on after the fail, unto the success

God.. please let me tell my self that.. yes, I'm facing the failure right now!!
but that's not the point.. the main point is.. I have to wake up.. and make a move, to make a success someday.

And another important thing is..
I don't have to worry.. don't scare to make a first new step.


I'm facing sooooooooo much failure in the same time, right now..
I have no friend, have no community, have no girlfriend, have no job..
seem that I have no future

But of course I have future, only if I left the failure behind..
and moving forward to the sucessfull future..
always like that..

Forgive Me, Lord

God.. something appear on my mind..
You let her with him, maybe becoz I'm not good enough for You..
I'm sorry
to not hear You
to abandon You
to not doing Your want me to do
second time
alwayz
I didn't pray, didn't read, didn't serve You
didn't hear You..
He is better than me in You, God
yes maybe it's true, i don't know
but I see that..

forgive me Lord
to not being able to be like him
I'm no one compare to him

maybe she will be happier with him

and I?
I have to learn many things, first..
to love You
to love my self
to love anybody else
and than to love my soulmate

I keep on trusting U, God..
to take care my self
to find my way
to find my soulmate
somewhere out there

i believe in You

and I hope You forgive me for the continuous sins that I do

please help me out of this sins

more like You
listen to You
and be better and better each day

Love You, Lord

thanks

God, it's just happen again!

God, why You do this to me?
what shud I believe?
I lost my self
again
I thought that there's a new chance

but I'm just a fool
to hope
just a fool
to dream

and now, it crush and burn again

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

it's the second chance that she break my heart

i'm okay

i feel fine

just go away

and never come back

You're all I ever wanted in a miracle

Could have been so easy
To have lived my life so different
And to follow down the road
Of wandering despair
Then like a wave of sunshine
You appeared just lake a vision
And opened up your heart
And made me live again

You're all I ever wanted in a miracle
You make my life so wonderful
With everything you do
You're all I ever wanted in a miracle
I do
Believe that there's a reason to love

At night as I lay sleeping
I forget that you are near me
And awake to find you lying
So close and so secure
I've never had this feeling
Of such deep profound devotion
It beckons to my soul
And fills my heart with love

You're all I ever wanted in a miracle
You make my life so wonderful
With everything you do
You're all I ever wanted in a miracle
I do
Believe that there's a reason to love

Like a boit of deadly lightning flashing through my mind
I remember the time that I was oh, so alone
So baby, don't go, don't go.

You're all I ever wanted in a miracle - Gordon

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God.. what's the meaning of missing her again?

When I know, I'm not one of the options of her future..

God.. what should I do now?

Just seating here and wait, or I have to fight once again?

I'm so afraid to losing her again..

Is it a chance, or just another way to pain?

Should I not hear of her again?

Should I better go?

Is it love or fool?

:( 

God.. I wish her.. again.. and I know that You're listening

and You will taking hand over us..

Thanks.. :)

Cud I just send a spirit message to her?

*sigh* confuse..

ketulusan vs kebodohan

Tuhan..
apa arti mencintai seseorang dengan sepenuh hati walau disakiti? ketulusan atau kebodohan?
ketika tetap memaafkan walau berulang kali terjadi kesalahan yang sama?
ketika tetap mencintai walau tak ada harapan untuk balik dicintai?
ketika berbuat yang terbaik untuk orang yang dicintai walau tak dihargai?
ketika hanya memikirkan kebahagiaan orang yang dicintai walau dia tak pernah mikirin saya sama sekali?
ketika tetap berharap meski sepertinya harapan itu tidak ada?
ketika tetap menunggu meski entah sampai kapan?

Tuhan.. saya telah pernah mundur, tapi ternyata tidak benar2 mundur..
ketika ada sedikit saja celah, saya ingin kembali masuk kesana..

Tuhan.. saya telah jatuh cinta dan patah hati berulang kali dengan orang yang sama..
apa cinta ini adalah sebuah ketulusan atau kebodohan?

God, cud U give me that chance?
is this love or just addicted?
so, what's love?
i don't understand what is love.. coz this is so damn right that it's love
if it's wrong, than what's love?

God, in a month.. what should I do?
I'm still crying a million tears of missing her..
God, cud I find job there? to get away from her?

forget my dreams?
OmG, I'm in doubt.. about everything, about my life..
sometimes, sadly, means about You too, my Lord
I'm sorry.. I should not..

God, if love is the point, cud You teach me it?
May You take a look at my heart?

yeah.. it's sometimes called as FOOLISH.. but it's so TRUE..

thanks God

God must be kidding me..

God, You know that I dreamt of her in 2 days later..
Sakit hati patah hati
Ketemu dia lagi hari ini
Dan tau kalo dia ga mungkin memilih gua lagi selamanya..
T_T
Feel like dying
Ketika tau itu, dan tau bahwa gua bener masi cinta mati sama dia
T_T

God.. I'm in love with her..
so in love with her
but what can I do
I can do nothing
Do You hear me God?
Do You with me?

What i should do?
I love her, and I just love her with all over my heart
no one else
T_T

I must be crazy
You must be kidding me with all this stuff, God

I'm crying until I fall asleep last night
and today she call me
and we met

and tomorrow

OMG
what am I doing?
do I lost my mind?
do this love?
or I just lost my way?

God..
cud I follow this "heart"?
or I should use my "brain"?

help..
I know it's just a month again, and I want to make it worth
but this is crazy
i'm falling deeper and deeper
God, help help help help help help help help

Forgive me.. I lost my mind..
please come to rescue me, God..
please..

God, You know, it's hurt me.. T_T
too blind to see..
help help help

Goodddddddddd, pleaaasssseeeeeeeee heeeeelllllpppppppppp meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

suck!

Jesus, don't you know that my life is suck!
no.. no.. no.. my life is a mercy..
but they just make me hate my life, hate my self, hate You..
they say about responsibility, trust, principle, and love.. to forget and forgive..
they over help, to change, to be right, and they think that they are right!!

God, until when... I have to hold this feeling?
to keep trying to be someone else?
to pretend that I am as they are... to laugh at my condition with them..
to try be a "better" person, and "kill" my self

I wanna die, tonight..
I hate being me..
I hate this condition..
I hate pain that never end..

where are You, my Survivor?
help me, I'm insane, I lose my way..
I need You right now
I'm badly broken

we need Your help, Jesus..
please show the world that You are exis to help us
show us Your way
help us through this
too many people feel the same way

please God, please..
come here and take away us..

thanks

Thanks God

Kau telah memilih diriku

Sebelum dunia ada dijadikan

Hanya karna kasih karunia Mu

Ku dijadiikan anak kesayangan Mu

Tlah habis segenap tuk bisa  ungkapkan

Besar nya kasih setiaMu
Hanya dengan nyanyian lagu rinduku...

Ku bersyukur Kau lah yang terbaik 

Yang ku punya di dalam hidupku

Tak ada yang bisa menggantikan 

Kasih setiaMu

Di sepanjang hidupku slamanya...

Trimakasih Tuhan

Ku dipilih......

song by: Pure Band - Ku Dipilih

download lagu Ku Dipilih - Pure Band

---------------------------------------------

thanks God.. for everything You've given me..

thanks God.. to be my God, to be my Lord..

for the appologize

for the love

for everyone that accompany me in my life

God.. what can I do without You, what am I without You

so please be with me forever and always

and let me with You forever and always

Thanks..

Our God is an Awesome God

Awesome God - Michael W Smith


When He rolls up His sleeves
He ain't just puttin' on the ritz
(our God is an awesome God)
There is thunder in His footsteps
And lightning in His fist
(our God is an awesome God)
Well, the Lord wasn't joking
When He kicked 'em out of Eden
It wasn't for no reason that He shed his blood
His return is very close and so you better be believing
that our God is an awesome God

REFRAIN
Our God(our God) is an awesome God
He reigns(He reigns) from heaven above
With wisdom(with wisdom) pow'r and love
our God is an awesome God

And when the sky was starless in the void of the night 
(our God is an awesome God)
He spoke into the darkness and created the light
(our God is an awesome God)
Judgment and wrath he poured out on Sodom
Mercy and grace He gave us at the cross
I hope that we have not too quickly forgotten that
our God is an awesome God

Refrain x3

Our God is an awesome God
Our God is an awesome God 
(Our God is an awesome God)
(Our God is an awesome God)

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